Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize