So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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