She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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