i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
