so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize