hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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