I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
