I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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