sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
