If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
