white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
