just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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