I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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