You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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