Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
