did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
