He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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