I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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