Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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