From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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