how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
