I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
