wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
