I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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