I just pynch a tree in the face
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
