You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
