you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
