I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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