I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
