Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
