I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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