Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
