Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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