Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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