Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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