We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
