he wants to bone in the snuggie
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
