dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
