ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
please don't ironically join a cult
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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