I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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