If that was your dad, he is hot
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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