That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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