Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
