it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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