if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
