How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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