Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
