why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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