I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
