I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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