I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize