Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
sex in a hospital.. check
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
