Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
