Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
operation harelip BJ is a go
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
