I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
