Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
