It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
