Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
