yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
