brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
