Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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