If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
