he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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